Day 31

So here's the story morning glory. I lost the weight I gained back, plus a another pound or so - and then I caved Saturday night and had pollo ala brassa with fixins. It's been 12 years since chicken tasted so good - and then I was stuck in a hospital.


So now, I'm gonna modify the diet until it's mostly juice, with a hint of protein once a day. My body has been craving protein, and I've been deficient since I started the fast. The RDA is 55 grams, and I've been averaging 20-30 a day. That's not healthy. It's also not healthy to be fat, so I've upped the exercise. No more 2-3 times a week. I'm doing 4-5 times a week from here until the end of the 60 days. Yesterday I did the skinny bitch workout again, and it didn't kill me as bad, and I'm not nearly as sore as I was the day after last time. Tomorrow, I'm going to submit a week-pass to this ritzy gym next to publix. When that runs out, I'm going to use my groupon for 30 exercise classes - spread out over multiple gyms. I got that sucker for $20, a steal considering exercise classes at fancy gyms go for $12-$25 a pop. The most expensive being the cross fitness near the metrorail station. I'll do a few there as well. I may still be fat - but I remain the king of deals.

Day 26

My cheating finally had a price. I weighed in yesterday and I had gained 1 pound 8 oz back.  That kinda sucked, so to make it worse, I ate 1/2 a sausage. I figured if I was gonna gain weight, I might as well eat some protein.

This morning, I was back on track, and I did a 5 mile walk with Maddy. After that I met up with Rich and gave him a price for a 2 month campaign for his mary Karlzen/Chickadee's kids record. I do hope they take me up, as I need the $$ for property tax and general living expenses.
I keep thinking I should write a letter to Clarence, with the opening of the film coming up. Part of me thinks he'll just use it as fuel for his self-loathing/everything is someone else's fault rampage, but another part of me wants to get it off my chest. And he does deserve an explanation about why I walked away last year- sort of.

Day 25

I cheated yesterday and ate a fiber one bar (and nuts, prunes and hummus), so I did the "skinny bitch" workout dvd that Lai got at Borders' closeout. It has 4, 20 minute components: Legs, abs, arms, ass. As I can't really do the abs do to my hernia (or can I?) I did the legs and arms. I completed the arms workout and did about 2/3 of the legs. I am pretty damn sore this am.

Jade had a birthday party/sleepover Sunday night at her choker-turned-bff Melanie's house. Melanie's mom and her cool Argentine beaux thought it was hysterical than Melanie went from playground choker to host/bff in less than a week. It turns out that Melanie is the new kid, having moved from Key Largo recently. I turned down choripan, burgers, beer, cake and god knows what else. But then I caved at the movies with Lai and ate popcorn and drank maybe 12 oz of soda. Oh well. I still haven't eaten any meat or starch. If I do the ass and abs (what little I can do of it anyway) SBW today I should be straight for my walk on Wednesday with Maddy - if she doesn't bail again.

Day 23

Despite my handful of minor cheats and Maddy bailing out of friday's walk, last night at weigh in I was down 6 pounds for the 8 days, for a total of 12 measured, and probably 14-15 total as I started weighing in 2 days into it the fast. I also weighed in late at night, after all my juices - so there's that too.
While that's  far from ideal progress considering the austerity of the juice fast - it's progress nonetheless. By Friday I'll be below where I was last year after my manic breakdown and then the real work begins - getting as close to 200 as I can before the fast is over. If I could get to 195 that would be huge.


Lai and I are getting along again, which will help. I also discovered that the UM gym has dropped their prices, so perhaps on her next check we can join that fucker.

Day 20

When I wake up, it'll be 3 weeks without a meal. Of late, I've been doing what I'm calling "semi-cheats" - like eating a couple prunes, or tasting the spaghetti sauce. Today I ate 3 potato wedges I roasted. But seeing how all of that adds up to minimal calories, I can't see where it's wrecking my diet - especially since I only juiced 3 times yesterday and burned off about 400 calories walking.
Tomorrow I'm gonna walk 4 miles with Maddy and then do my weekly weigh in. And then I'll see if my rationalizing is setting me back. 20 days into juicing hell, I found myself going to all 4 grocery stores in South Miami searching for beets. From now on, I'll stick to Whole Foods aka "Whole paycheck." The loose beets are 1/2 of what they are at winn dixie, and while the bunches are a buck more than publix (who didn't have them today -starting my quest)- I inadvertently gamed the system by getting a bunch of beets and a loosey, and today they only charged me for the bunch. $1 saved! yee har.

Day 19

Today I finally did some real exercise, a 5.2 mile walk with Maddy from her house to gables estates and back. If I do this 2 times a week with her, and 3 more 1 mile walks in my parents hood - I might actually lose my disgusting gut by the end of this fast. It's amazing how much faster the time/distance passes when you are swapping stories with a workout buddy.

Tomorrow morning marks the 1/3 checkpoint. While I doubt I'll be 1/3 of the way to my goal, I still feel like I am making progress and gaining energy level. I was extremely sedentary when I started. Not so much now.

Today was also Jade's open house. Her 1st grade reading teacher is a trip. Skinny black lady with an ill-fitting blonde wig. Which reminds me of Jeff Clayton's half serious post-gig order in 1996: "We only want black hookers - with blonde wigs!"

day 14

It's a long standing joke in my family how you shouldn't go shopping when you are hungry. Somehow this happens even when I'm not eating solid food. We only "needed" a few items, but somehow I blew $97 at the grocery store in part because I didn't read that the the $10 "coupon" in the paper was actually for a gift card that you can't use until your next purchase. ugh.

i might have been a little preoccupied because of this south miami rage moment:

my kid was acting like a poorly trained dog all morning, and I am on 2 hours of sleep because my parents like me to take them to the airport before the ticket counters open at 6 am

so when we rounded the corner to her classroom, she stopped walking, and i leaned over and hissed in her ear "why are you acting like a bitch?" which might have been a little excessive sure, but  she was button pushing like a 2 year old on an elevator all morning

and some fucking jackass with a southern accent and an oxford shirt booms "SUR! Watch Your Mouth!"

motherfucker. I was so mad/tired I couldn't  respond.

I want so bad to tell him to go to the 7th grade American history class down the block and learn about the 1st amendment - tell him the american nazi party was currently taking volunteers  - or kick his teeth in.